Squad Jokes / Recent Jokes

Firing Squad
Three criminals were getting set to be executed by a firing squad. They were all tied up to posts,
waiting for the general to give the signal to the soldiers to shoot them.
The general yells, "Ready, aim..."
All of a sudden the first criminal yells, "Tornado!"
The soldiers and general are frightened by the call, running to hide in fear. The criminal unties
himself and escapes.
The soldiers gather themselves for the next execution. the second criminal realizes what the first
criminal has done, so he takes his shot as well.
The general yells, "Ready, aim..."
Then the second criminal yells, "Hurricane!"
Again the general and soldiers run in fright, giving time to the second criminal to escape. The third
criminal understands the trend and attempts the same. The soldiers get ready for the next attempt.
The general yells, "Ready, aim..."
Then the third more...

A County Deputy pulled a car over on Hwy US 41 about 2 miles north of the Wis / Mich state line When the Deputy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Green Bay to do a show that night at the Oneida Casino, where he had a gig and didn't want to be late. The deputy told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the deputy that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The deputy told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his squad car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the deputy got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the squad car, a drunk got out and watched the performance briefly, he then went over to the squad car, opened the rear door more...

When asked what he thought about the new squad radio, one Army sergeant told the man from the R&D agency: “This squad radio should be replaced with a good whistle. ”

Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad.
The commander yells, "Ready...Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"
Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes.
The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"
Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes.
The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"

Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad.The commander yells, "Ready...Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes.The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes.The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"

The other day there was a bomb scare in Texas. Of course the bomb squad had to be called out to investigate, which in turn brought the news. In the local paper the next day, they had a picture of a bomb squad member, wearing a shirt that said:

I AM A BOMB TECHNICIAN IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING TRY AND KEEP UP!!!!

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Johnny, this wouldn`t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?" "That it is," Johnny replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the fancy dress ball." "You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat. "How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Johnny. "Well," mused Pat, "`tis life and there`s a lesson in this somewhere." "That there is," replied Johnny. "`Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."