Sri Jokes / Recent Jokes
An American tourist in Colombo found himself needing to take a leak very badly. After a long search he just couldn't find anyplace to relieve himself. So he just went down one of the side streets to take care of business.
Before he could even get unzipped a Colombo police officer said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"
"I gotta go, man," replied the American tourist.
"You can't go here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "whiz away."
The American shrugs, turns, unzips, and starts right on the flowers. "Ahhh. Whew. Thanks. This is very nice of you. Is this Sri Lankan courtesy?" asked the tourist.
"No. This is the American Embassy."
An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So, the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sri Lankan was located who had a similar type of blood. The Sri Lankan >willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Sri Lankan as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Rolls Royce, diamonds, Lapiz Lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars. Few years later, once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sri Lankan who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sri Lankan a thank you (ahsante) card and a jar of Almond Roca Sweets. The Sri Lankan was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sri Lankan's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he more...
A Khalistan Roadways bus plying between the state's major towns had a Nihang conductor.' Where to?' he asked a young Sikh passenger before issuing him a ticket.
'Amritsar,' replied the youngster.
The Nihang conductor gave him a clout on the head and said,' It is Sri Amritsar Sahib.'
The youngster quickly corrected himself,' Yes, of course! One for Sri Amritsar Sahib.'
The next passenger was a Hindu.' Where to?' asked the Nihang.
'Sri Ludhian Sahib,' replied the other timidly.
He too was rewarded with a clout on the head.' Only Ludhiana, no Sri or Sahib admonished the Nihang before issuing him a ticket.
The third passenger happended to be a worldlywise Marwari. When asked for his destination, he replied;' Nihangji kindly give me a ticket for Sri Amritsar Sahib; thereafter I will go on foot to my village.'
The Nihang was pleased: if you are not completing your journey by this bus, no need for a ticket-shikcet,' replied the Nihang.
Sri and Bri are two friends and Sri Singh has a very good job. Bri Singh is jobless and one day asks Sri to help him get some good Job. Sri Singh says, "OK, next time we will apply together." and they do.
On interview day, Sri Singh says, "First I will go inside and answer all questions and after coming out, I will give you all the questions & answers. Then you go in and answer everything. You will get the Job. So, Sri goes in.
EMPLOYER: When did we get independence?
Sri: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM?
Sri: It changes frequently and these days it's Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER: OK. What's India's population?
Sri: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir.
Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to Bri Singh. Bri Singh (True SARDAR that he is) remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in Now.
EMPLOYER: When were more...
IT HURTS... BUT IT'S TRUE.....
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>Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
>A. Muttiah Muralitharan
>
>Q. What is the height of optimism?
>A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
>
>Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was Sri Lankan?
>A. An all-rounder.
>
>Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
>A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
>
>Q. Why is Upul Chandana the unluckiest bowler on tour?
>A. Because he was born in Sri Lanka.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
>A. Three runs in three balls.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a maiden over?
>A. Sarita Rajendran now De Silva (Aravinda's wife).
>
>Q. When does the ball travel at its fastest in this world cup?
>A. An Eric Upashantha delivery flying towards the boundary.
>
>Q. Why don't Sri Lankan more...
Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
A. Muttiah Muralitharan
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. Why don't Sri Lankan fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.
Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. What do you call an Sri Lankan with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sri Lankan
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the Sri Lankan touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why did Nawaz more...
A teacher was teaching about great people of Sri Lanka, in grade 5 class. The teacher asked to name a great person in Sri Lanka. One child said Srimath Anagarika Dhramapala Thuma, Other one said Srimath Walisingha Harischandra Thuma.
One of the children in the class thought every name starts with Srimath. I should think of a name starting with Srimath. The child said Srimath Madana Modakaya.