Stalker Jokes

WARNING - may be offensive to Los Angelenos, Tiny Tim, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, OJ Simpson and women who marry serial killers on death row (sounds like a topic for a talk show...). Includes American politics.
In last weeks debate, Bob Dole accused Bill Clinton of not sticking to his platform. Well, at least he didn't fall off it...
At the end of the debate, Dole closed by inviting young people to check out his Web site. This could be the most tragic attempt at looking hip since William Shatner recorded "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds".
In the polls, both Dole and Clinton scored points as agents of change. Right. Each of them motivated millions of Americans to change the channel.
When the stock market hit a record high, Bill Clinton took full credit. When poverty fell to a new low, Clinton took full credit. When unmarried pregnancies declined, well... they dragged him off the stage just in time...
In a television ad featuring Elizabeth Dole, Mrs. Dole says her more...

Lindsey Lohan has joined the ranks of Madonna and Britney Spears, she now has her very first stalker. He's not really a stalker, just somebody who heard she could get good coke.

...the police are detaining an alleged Jamie Foxx stalker...a man calling himself Bill O'Reilly is in custody, but denies all charges, insisting he is a "Fox talker", not a Foxx stalker.