Stamp Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.
After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink.
The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.
In very tiny letters, the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me. ”

Disclaimer:

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Sell before date stamped on carton. Do not purchase if seal has been tampered with. Contents under pressure. Void where prohibited or taxed. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Some settling of contents may occur during shipping. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times approximate. more...

I was once with a tour group visiting the UK. As we filed past the immigration officer (at Heathrow), each one showed his passport, was asked why (s)he was visiting ["Well sir, I'm with this group that is visiting your lovely. .."], and got a one-week tourist visa stamp.

When it was my turn, I said I was going to topple the oppressive government and the entire class system, teach everyone to cook like the French, and free the masses from their servitude, but since I didn't want to stay and experience the ensuing chaos, I might as well get a tourist visa too.

He said, "Normally I'd tell you such a job is rather a large undertaking, and stamp you for two weeks, but I suspect you're kidding," and gave me the same as the rest.