Stamp Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made.
When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride to be said, 'White.'
The tailor was a bit surprised by this, and said, 'Excuse me, I don't mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can't help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?'
The woman replied, 'I'm sorry to say, but that's the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look. My third husband was a stamp collector... God I miss him.'
One day a man went hunting for ducks. When he was done he was going to his Chevy and he got a vist from The Game Warden.
The Warden said "Hey Sir, what ya huntin?"
The man said "Ducks."
The Warden said "Did ya have any luck?"
He said "Got 3."
The Warden said "Let Me see them." The Warden stuck his finger up the ducks butt, smelled it and said "This duck is from Ohio, do you have a stamp for it?"
The Man gave him the stamp.
The Warden picked up the 2nd duck did the same thing and said "Kentuky duck, got a stamp?"
The man gave him the stamp.
The Warden did the same thing with the last duck and said "Canada duck. Stamp?"
The man gave him the stamp.
Then the Warden said "Where you from anyway?"
The man pulled down his pants and said "You're the expert, you tell me!"
One day a man went hunting for ducks. When he was done he was going to his Chevy and he got a vist from The Game Warden.The Warden said "Hey Sir, what ya huntin?"The man said "Ducks."The Warden said "Did ya have any luck?"He said "Got 3."The Warden said "Let Me see them." The Warden stuck his finger up the ducks butt, smelled it and said "This duck is from Ohio, do you have a stamp for it?"The Man gave him the stamp.The Warden picked up the 2nd duck did the same thing and said "Kentuky duck, got a stamp?"The man gave him the stamp.The Warden did the same thing with the last duck and said "Canada duck. Stamp?"The man gave him the stamp.Then the Warden said "Where you from anyway?"The man pulled down his pants and said "You're the expert, you tell me!"
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.
Why dont you stamp e-mails? Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!
A young woman, two months pregnant, went to see her obstetrician. He was in a hurry to leave on an emergency call, so he asked her to quickly bare her stomach, then reached into his desk and took out a rubber stamp, which he pressed beside her navel. He then rushed off. At home, she and her husband tried to read the tiny words printed on her belly, but they were too small. They then found a magnifying glass and tried to read the words; the stamp read: "When your husband can read this without his glasses, it's time to get yourself to the hospital!"
I don't understand these complaints about the postal service. Time was,
you could put a two-cent stamp on a letter and mail it, and it would
arrive at its destination in two days. Now you put a twenty-five-cent
stamp on a letter and it can take three to four weeks to arrive.
Still only a penny a day!
(From the letter column in Harper's Magazine, in response to an article
about the US Post Office.)