Statistics Jokes / Recent Jokes

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an
absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is
reading a manual about sexual statistics.
He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about
sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average
penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is
Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.
They exchange hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest diameter.
By the way my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

New statistics from Australian Bureau of Statistics:

3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 people were injured in 1998 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 people had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 people were injured more...

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.They exchange hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest diameter.By the way my name is Jill. What's yours?"He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding more...

The next time someone starts quoting statistics at you, just remind them
that 78% of people who quote statistics make them up.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?