Statistics Jokes / Recent Jokes

Prof. of Algebra: kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart. Prof. of Chemistry: kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts. Prof. of Zoology: kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria. Prof. of Physiology: kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction. Prof. of Dentistry: kiss is infectious and antiseptic. Prof. of Accountancy: kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned. Prof. of Economics: kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply. Prof. of Statistics: kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36. Prof. of Philosophy: kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old. Prof. of English: kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; more...

1. They speak only the Greek language. 2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonni, Tchebycheff, Schatzoff, Hotelling, and Godambe. Where are the statisticians with names such as Smith, Brown, or Johnson? 3. They are fond of all snakes and typically own as a pet a large South American snake called an ANOCOVA. 4. For perverse reasons, rather than view a matrix right side up they prefer to invert it. 5. Rather than moonlighting by holding Amway parties they earn a few extra bucks by holding pocket-protector parties. 6. They are frequently seen in their back yards on clear nights gazing through powerful amateur telescopes looking for distant star constellations called ANOVA's. 7. They are 99% confident that sleep can not be induced in an introductory statistics class by lecturing on z-scores. 8. Their idea of a scenic and exotic trip is traveling three standard deviations above the mean in a normal distribution. 9. They manifest many psychological disorders because as more...