Steam Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ms. Suzy had a steam boat,
the steam boat had a bell!
The steam boat went to heaven,
Ms. Suzy went to...
Hello operator,
please give me number nine!
And if you disconnect me,
I'll chop off your...
Behind the frigerator,
there was a piece of glass!
Ms. Suzy sat upon it,
and broke her big fat...
Ask me no more questions,
tell me no more lies!
The boys are in the bathroom,
zipping up their...
Flies are in the meadow,
bees are in the park!
Ms. Suzy's with her boyfriend,
kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k dark, dark, dark!
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller? A: A flat major. Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller? A: Be flat, major. Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller? A: See flat major. Q: What key is "Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight" written in? A: C sharp or B flat. Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone? A: A sharp major. Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music? A: A natural major. Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords.
One afternoon there was a family who was coming back from church. While the were on the road they passed by a cement factory. The factory was giving off some steam from their ducts. One of the smaller kids in the back of the mini van looked at the steam and said, "Humph". "So thats how clouds are made".
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him (or her) over with a steam roller?
A: B flat, major.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: C flat major.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
CHAUFFEUR
French for a "heater." Originally this term was used for a particularly nasty breed of robbers, who broke into houses, seized the occupants, and then tortured them by burning their feet in the fireplace until they disclosed where they had stashed their valuables.
Later, the word was applied to stokers of steam engines, including the early steam powered automobiles. Finally, chauffeur came to mean the driver of any car.
DIPLOMAT
Greek for "folded twice." A diplomat dealt in matters so secret that the documents required this special precaution.
LORD
In Old English the head of the house was called the hlafweard: "loaf warden," or "master of the bread." This approached the 1960s slang "bread" for what most people called money.
On the way to lord it passed through many intermediate forms, such as hlaford and louerd.
Similarly, a lady was originally the "bread-kneader," hlaefdige, before more...