Steering Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a pirate walked into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.The bartender says,"Sir, I hope you know theres a steering wheel in your pants."The pirate replies,"I know.Its drivin me nuts!"

61. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.62. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home.63. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".64. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? A: Fertilised.65. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilised.66. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.67. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door.68. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door.69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver's license? A: The instructor gave her an "F" in sex.70. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room.71. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.72. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, more...

STATE OF OHIO DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES
BULLETIN NO. 981059
DATE: October 21, 2000
TO: All Ohio Vehicle Owners
FROM: Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles
SUBJECT: Automobile Dimmer Switches
Pursuant to the Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles Act No. 69-13, all motor vehicles sold in the State of Ohio after Oct. 21, 2000 will be required to have the headlight dimmer switch mounted to the floorboard. Ohio DMV Act 69-13 will revert all Ohio motor vehicles to the prevalent dimmer system in use prior to the influx of foreign market vehicles.
The dimmer switch must be mounted in a position accessible to operation by pressing the switch by the left foot. The switch must be far enough removed from the left foot pedals to avoid inadvertent operation or pedal confusion.
Included in the above act and beginning October 21, 2000, all other vehicles with steering column mounted dimmer switches must be retrofitted with a floorboard mounted dimmer switch of the type more...

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the more...

A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on their way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, the man decided to stop and the next gasoline station and fill up.

"What can I do fer ya'll?" the attendant asked.

"Fill it with supreme," the man said.

While the attendant was filling the tank, he looked the car up, down and sideways. "What kinda car is dis here?" he asked. "I never seen one like it before."

"It's a brand new Cadillac," the driver said proudly. "It has power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a CD player, an 8-speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes, leather interior, digital instruments..."

"Wow," said the attendant. "That there's the fanciest car I ever did see."

"How much do I owe you?" asked the driver when the attendant had more...

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.
Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day the Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while
the American team had 8 people steering and one person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an incredible amount of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area more...

Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1 So brunettes can remember them.
A2 Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? ???
A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why did more...