Steering Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Indians and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
Afterward, the India team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding:
The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the Indian team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the Indian team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the Indian team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new more...
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.
The Japanese team won by a mile.
Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.
After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too more...
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
accelerator: Boston
One hand on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone in lap, brick on
accelerator: California*
* with gun also in lap: L.A.
Both hands on top of wheel, one foot on brake, watching pedestrians
cross against the light: San Francisco
One hand on the wheel, one hand drumming (with drum stick) on the
dash board, Lap top on top of the Dashboard, left foot tapping, right
foot on the accelerator, head bobbing from side to side: Silicon
Valley, listening to KEZR
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
terror: Ohio, but driving in Boston.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned
to talk to someone in back seat: Italy
Both hands praying to Gates, knee on wheel, cradling cell phone in
lap, foot on brake, mind more...
Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom?
A: Adjust the steering wheel.
What if people bought cars like they buy computers? General Motors
doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive,
because people don't buy cars like they buy computers. But imagine if
they did...
Helpline: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and
nothing happened!"
Helpline: "Did you put the key in the ignition and
turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
Helpline: "It's a starter motor that draws current
from your battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come
I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
Helpline: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
Helpline: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: more...
A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, "Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
The guy replies "Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!"