Stevie Jokes / Recent Jokes
Stevie Wonder is at a celebrity party where he meets golf champ, Tiger Woods. The two of them start chatting when Stevie mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.
Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.
"When I tee off," Stevie explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green and my sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."
Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round. When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about we play for $100,000?" Tiger insists that he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.
After much arguing and badgering from Stevie, Tiger finally relents and says, "Ok, it's your money... when do you want to play?"
"Any NIGHT you choose!" Stevie replies.
A guitarist dies and is quite please to find that he ends up standing before the pearly gates of Guitar Heaven. St. Peter shows him in, and gives him a guided tour.
"This is Stevie Ray's room here..." says Peter, and the guitarist is saying "Wow! Stevie Ray!"
"And this is Jimi's room..." and the guitarist is totally over the moon.
Finally Peter shows the guitarist to his own room. Before Peter leaves, he says to him, "I have to ask. Is Yngwie here?" Peter shakes his head sadly and says "I'm afraid he went... the "other" way..."
The guitarist is disappointed but goes to his room and tries to get some sleep. He is woken up in the middle of the night by someone playing a really fast harmonic minor lick - and it sounds just like Yngwie. He presses his ear to the wall, and listens more closely. Someone in the next room is playing really fast neo-classical shreds through what sounds very much like a vintage more...
How did Stevie Wonder pierce his ears? He answered the stapler (hello? *OUCH*)
Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one student starts drawing on the board, then one by one others add to it. She thinks and decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some "unusual" pictures in mind. So she starts with Anne. Anne: "This is our house". / / / / | | | | | | Teacher: "Good Anne!" and asks Peter to draw next: Peter: "This is our house's door". / / / / | | | _ | | | | | | |_| | Teacher: "Very good, Peter" and calls Mary: Mary: "This is our house roof". / /UU / / | | | _ | | | | | | |_| | Teacher: "Very nice, Mary" and calls on Stevie: Stevie: "And this is the sun over our house." |/ -O- /| / /UU / / | | | _ | | | | | | |_| | Teacher: "Very nice Stevie" and thinks, there is not much damage that Johnny can do with this picture and asks Johnny to come to the board. Johnny: "And this is my Dad, trying to pick up the more...
Why is Stevie Wonder always Smiling?
Because he doesn't know he's black
How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune?
Evidently all of them.