Stewardess Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesnt have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "Im blonde, Im smart, I have a good job, and Im staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "Im blonde, Im smart, I have a good job and Im staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesnt even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head st ewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. more...
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct more...
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a coke, you cow!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another coke dogface!"
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!"
The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've got some guts!"
There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane.
At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess who was collecting tickets.
So when the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself.
The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub."
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde,
I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section.
The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
As the plane was flying low over hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?"
"Just snow," replied the stewardess.
"That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."
The Top 10 Signs You're Flying On A Bad Airline
The engine's being held on by duct tape.
You see the Gorilla from those old Samsonite commercials running loose up and down the aisles.
In-flight movie has "Ernest" in its title.
Pilot informs you that you're at cruising altitude and he's gonna put the top down.
Instead of Peanuts, you get a healthy helping of SPAM.
As you're taking off, the stewardess mentions the phrase "Guest Pilot Program"
The seats are wet due to flotation device moisture.
The stewardess asks you to join the Mile High Club..."she" has a beard and bigger arms than you!
Pilot asks if there is anyone else who wants a shot of Beam before he finishes the bottle.
You look down and see a copy of "Fixing a Plane for Dummies" by the mechanic's feet!!!