Stranger Jokes / Recent Jokes

Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The amused stranger inquired, "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
The owner responded, "Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

A stranger walks into the local bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar:
FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
The Bartender replies “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s an alligator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there’s a woman up-stairs who’s never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her. ”
The guy says, “Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be out of your mind to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and the rest is even crazier.
After sinking a few pints, the stranger stands up and summons the bartender.
“Wherez zat teeqeelah? ”
He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp with tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back more...

Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger. The nude stranger was sprawled over the bed asleep." You rotten bastard!" yelled the husband..."I'm going to kill you!""Wait!, said Mrs. Jones". You know that fur coat I got last winter? Well, he gave it to me. And that diamond ring we sold for $1000's? Well, he gave it to me. And remember when we couldn't aford a new car and I came home one day with a brand new chevy? Well, he gave it to me. After hearing all this, Mr. Jones exclaims..."For heaven sake woman, it's drafty in here." "Cover him so he doesn't catch cold!"

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"
Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little.
"Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolises.
He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all", says Jake. He pushes a few more...

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says."Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little."Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolises.He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all", says Jake. He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but more...

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.

"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.

Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven' til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.

The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He more...

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the thestranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heardthat flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with yourfellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and saidto the stranger "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But letme ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eatgrass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cowturns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Whydo you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified todiscuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"