Stranger Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man and his wife are awoken at 3 o'clock in the morning by a knock on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a stranger is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband -- "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He closes the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just a stranger asking for a push" he answers.
"Did you help him? she asks.
"No I didn't -- it's three in the morning"
"Well you've got a short memory" says his wife, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us?. I think you should help him."
The man does as he is told and returns to the front door and calls out into the dark "Hello -- are you still there?"
"Yes", comes the answer.
"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes please!" comes the reply from the more...
A man named John was walking back to his house, when a stranger walked up to him and said, "I'll give you tree beans if you give me your house." But John was drunk, so he thought he said, "If you give me tree beans, I'll give you my house."
So John said, "Yes." And while he was taking out some beans, the stranger gave him three beans and ran in his house. John hollered, "WAIT! YOU HAVE TO FEED THE DOGS OR THEY WILL ATTACK YOU CRAZILY!" But the stranger didn't hear him fully and replied, "Oh. Don't feed the dogs? O.k.!"
The next day the stranger came out, all torn up and came to John and said, "I want my beans back."
A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can youloan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident."The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are youusing to gamble with?"The guy replies, "Oh, Ive got gambling money."
One day, a stranger approached a new bar. There was a sign on the window that read, "Come inside and tell me what you think I should name my new bar. If it's a good name, I'll give you free drinks for the rest of your life." The stranger entered and got in line for his turn at the naming.
The first guy said, "How about 'Fred's Bar'?" The bartender replied, "No, I don't like that."
The second guy said, "How about 'Hank's Bar'?" "No," said the bartender, "I think that is too plain of a name."
This continued for hours. Finally, it came time for the stranger to have his turn. "How about 'Lucy's Legs'?"
The bartender was overcome with happiness and instructed the stranger to come back in the morning for the start of his free drinks.
The next morning, the stranger returned and was standing around waiting for the bar to open, when a cop drove by very slowly. The cop went around the block a few times and more...
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the more...
A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day... when she
was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $10 bill dropped
out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home
folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by
the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning
against a post in front of the convent.
She couldn't get him off her mind and, thinking that he might be
in financial difficulties, she took the $10 bill and wrapped it
in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair,
Sister Eulalia," and threw it out of the window to him. He picked
it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped
his hat and went off down the street.
The next day she was in her cell saying her beads when she was
told that some man was at her door who insisted on seeing her.
She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for
her. Without saying more...
A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident."
The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?"
The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."