String Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bar and says, "Barkeep! Give me a beer!"
The bartender replies, "Well uh..aren't you a piece of string?"
The piece of string answers, "Yeah!"
And the bartender says, "Well get out of here! We don't serve your kind!"
So the first piece of string walks back towards the door.
The second piece of string says, "Hey wait, hold on a minute!"
"You're not doing it right, watch this."
He ties himself in a knot and frizzes out the top of his head. He walks up to the bar and says "Barkeep! Give me a beer!"
The barender said "Aren't you a piece of string?"
The piece of strings replies, "Nope, I'm afraid not!"

Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bar and says, "Barkeep! Give me a beer!"The bartender replies, "Well uh..aren't you a piece of string?"The piece of string answers, "Yeah!"And the bartender says, "Well get out of here! We don't serve your kind!"So the first piece of string walks back towards the door. The second piece of string says, "Hey wait, hold on a minute!" "You're not doing it right, watch this." He ties himself in a knot and frizzes out the top of his head. He walks up to the bar and says "Barkeep! Give me a beer!"The barender said "Aren't you a piece of string?"The piece of strings replies, "Nope, I'm afraid not!"

Two pieces of string walked into a bar and ordered a pint. 'sorry' said the barman, 'we don't serve pieces of string in here' and with that he threw the two pieces of string out.
Outside, one of the pieces of string ruffeled himself up, tied himself in a loop and went back into the bar.
'Are you one of those pieces of string I just threw out?' asked the barman.
'No' replied the string, 'I'm a frayed not'!

Two pieces of string walked into a bar and ordered a pint. 'sorry' said the barman, 'we don't serve pieces of string in here' and with that he threw the two pieces of string out.Outside, one of the pieces of string ruffeled himself up, tied himself in a loop and went back into the bar.'Are you one of those pieces of string I just threw out?' asked the barman.'No' replied the string, 'I'm a frayed not'!

A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
The 1st week the father asked him what he had learned
The son said "On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string"
The 2nd week came and after the lesson the father asked what had he learned that week
The son said "On my 2nd lesson I learned about the A string"
3rd week came by and the father said to his son "You know these are expensive lessons what have you learned this week"
The son said "I quit the lessons I already got a gig"

a fireman was cleaning the fire engine one day when he noticed a little girl across the street. she was busy cleaning her little red wagon which was fixed to look like a fire engine, ladder and all. the fireman walked across the street to admire the wagon. as he came close he noticed the power source was a large dog with a rope around his neck. he also noticed a cat with a string tied around its balls. the fireman thought this strange, so he said to the little girl," would not it be better to tie that string around the cats neck?". the little girl replied, "well that would be stupid, because what would i use for a siren?".

An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000).
The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it touched the ground and then climbed down and measured the length of the string.
The Mathematician layed out a reference line, measured the angle to the top of the steeple from both ends and worked out the height by trigonometry.
However, the arts graduate won the prize. He bought the vicar a beer in the local pub and he told him how high the church steeple was.