Sugar Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner... who lives with a female roommate Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldnt help but notice how pretty Anthonys roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his moms thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, Ive been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You dont suppose she took it, do you?" Well, I doubt it, but Ill e-mail her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote;
Dear Momma,
Im not saying that you did take the sugar bowl from my house, and Im not saying that you more...

Preeto was giving an upper-crust party and had hired Rupa, a girl recently come to Chandigarh from a remote village, as a maid.
As Rupa was setting up the tea service, Preeto told her to be certain that there were sugar tongs available.
Rupa had never heard of sugar tongs, and asked her what they were and why they were used.
Preeto, always happy to Enlighten the Unenlightened, told Rupa that the problem lay with the gentlemen, who would go to the loo, and to do what they needed to do, had to touch things which were less than acceptably sanitary.
"Sure, Ma'am," Rupa said, impressed.
After the guests had begun arriving that evening, Preeto was dismayed and infuriated not to see any sugar tongs on the tea service.
Rupa, trembling, came quickly in answer to Preeto's angry shout.
"But... but, ma'am, I put the tongs out just as you told me to."
Furious Preeto pointed to the tea table, devoid of tongs, "Then where are they, young more...

Do you know the difference in sugar and Sweet-n-Low??? Sugar is when you kiss her on the lips!

Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A. So he could have sweet dreams.

See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy. Mother is happy
about Christmas. Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for
Christmas. Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny Mother.

See mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy. The shopping is all
done. See the children watch T. V. Watch children, watch. See the
children change their minds. See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look, look, Mother is not smiling. Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother sew. Mother will make dresses. Mother will
make robes. Mother will make shirts. Look. .. Mother put the
zipper in wrong. See Mother sews the dress on the wrong side. See
Mother cut the skirt too short. See Mother put the material away
until January. Look, look, see Mother take a tranquilizer. Funny,
funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy
candied pineapple and powdered sugar. See more...

Ingredients:

1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 cup nuts
1 cup butter
1 BOTTLE WHISKEY

Procedure:

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Get out a large bowl. Check the whiskey again--to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it.

Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in the large bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl. Chuck in one cup of fried druit.

Mix on the turner. If fried druit gets stuck in the beatererers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt or something??? Who cares? Check the whiskey again. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Sugar or something. more...