Suicide Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man went to the library and asked the librarian, where he could find a book on suicide.
She said," second floor to the left". Man went and returned to her saying that he couldn't find book on suicide there.
she replied," It is possible because they never return the books back".
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.
“How did this happen? ” the doctor asked.
“Well I was trying to commit suicide, ” the blonde replied.
“Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger? ”
“No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6, 000 for these, ’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4, 000 to get my teeth fixed. ’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise, ’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger. ”
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building. I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, "See, that`s how it`s done."
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off." How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied." Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, "I just paid $6, 000 for these," then I put it in my mouth and I thought, "I just paid $4, 000 to get my teeth straightened." So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, "this is going to make a loud noise," so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger?"