Surgeon Jokes / Recent Jokes
Long, long ago, in a battle a soldier was shot in the leg, and suffered from constant pain. An officer in the troop sent for a surgeon versed in external medicine to treat the soldier's wound. The surgeon came to have a look, then said, "This is easy!" He cut off the arrow shaft at the leg with a big pair of scissors, and immediately asked for fees for the surgical operation. "Anyone can do that," the soldier, getting upset, cried, "The arrow head is still in the leg, why haven't you taken it out?" "My surgical operation is finished. The arrowhead in your leg should be cured by a physician who practices internal medicine."
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. you open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers.. . they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.. . "
A man walked in to his physician's office, and asked to be castrated.
"I beg your pardon?" the doctor asked, slightly aghast.
"I've thought about this for a long time, and I've decided I want to go through with it." The man says calmly.
"You want to be castrated." The doctor said, stil not quite understanding.
"Yes. That's right. I want to be castrated."
The doctor tried to talk his patient out of the decision, but the man was adamant. He was unwaivering in his desire to be castrated. The doctor, seeing the man was resolute, sighed and put him in touch with a good plastic surgeon.
The surgeon was equally aghast, but after having the man sign a multitude of forms, agreed to perform the procedure.
The day of surgery arrived, and the man was in very good spirits. He was clearly looking forward to being castrated. Everyone was completely puzzled but as this clearly was what he wanted, they all shook their heads and went more...
Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager.
Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come over here a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, all could hear, said argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this work. I also take valves out, grind' em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me are doing basically the same work?"
DeBakey was very embarrassed and as he walked away, said softly to Morris, "Try doing your work with the engine running."
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered". "I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered". The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded". The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable."
Three friends a surgeon, an engineer, and a politician were discussing which of their professions was the oldest. The surgeon said "Eve was created from Adam's rib, a surgical procedure." The engineer replied: "Before Adam and Eve, order was created out of chaos, and that was an engineering job." The politician said, "Yes, but who do you suppose created the chaos?"
A surgeon told his patient upon waking up from an operation, I'm afraid we're going to have to operate on you again. I seem to have left my rubber gloves inside.
Well, if it's just for the gloves, I'd rather pay for them and you can leave me intact.