Surgeon Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the
years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags,
those are your breasts."
She said, "No point asking about the beard then. more...

There was the surgeon who was arrested for drunkendriving. They let him go, though. He was already an hourlate for an operation.

A surgeon, an architect, and a politician were considering the question of whose profession was the oldest. "I think my line of work would win this one hands down," the surgeon said. "After all, Eve was created from Adam's rib, and that sounds like surgery to me." "Maybe," the architect said, "but before Adam, order was created out of chaos. That was an architectural accomplishment." "Sure," the politician said. "But before that, someone had to create the chaos."

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are definitely the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the arse are interchangeable!"

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon "when you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered"
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians, all their organs are color coded."
The fourth one shakes his head and says, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable!"

Four surgeons are having a coffee after performing surgery.
"I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered."
says the first.
"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon.
"When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered."
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are colour coded."
The fourth one said, ""I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable"

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.

“Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”

“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I'll never experience another erection?”

“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”