Survivor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Network TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of "Survivor," the popular TV show.
Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I voted for Kerry, I`m gay, and I`m here to take your guns."
The first contestant to complete the round trip is the winner.

CBS reality show "Survivor" will have contestants divided into four tribes by ethnicity. Blacks, Whites, Latinos and Asians in separate groups competing against each other. New York City Councilman John Liu said Thursday, "The idea of having a battle of the races is preposterous." Members of the black community are also launching a campaign urging CBS to pull the show because it could encourage racial division and promote negative typecasts.
In response Jeff Probst said, "They're complaining now but wait until they see the basketball challenge."
When asked why Jews were left out of the reality show, Mark Burnett said, "This is an athletic competition not the "Apprentice,"

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do its own, titled Survivor, Texas-Style.

The contestants will start in Dallas, travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, onto El Paso, then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they'll proceed to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm
here to confiscate your guns!"

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins!

At the plane crash site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank Heavens!", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.

The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but Good Heavens, man, your plane only went down yesterday!"

Segregation has reared it's ugly head once again. This time, on the hit TV show Survivor. In the latest installment, tribes are separated along racial lines, Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian. It's rumored that during filming, a Typhoon struck the Cook Island. The whites were evacuated, and the blacks were left to sit on the roofs of their huts.