Suspicious Jokes / Recent Jokes
His wife is so suspicious, if she can't find black or blonde hair on his jacket, she accuses him of running around with bald women!
THE MAN'S POINTS SYSTEM
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects -sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty
liners with wings...+5 But return with beer...-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10
It's her father...-10
You leave the toilet seat up...-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when more...
THE MAN'S POINTS SYSTEM
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it
is:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she
dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing
something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed...+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the
decorative pillows...0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled
sheets...-1 You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty
liners with wings...+5 But return with beer...-5 You check out a
suspicious noise at night...0 You check out a suspicious noise and
it's nothing...0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's
something....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10 It's her
father...-10 You leave the toilet seat up...-5 You replace the
toilet-paper roll more...
THE MAN'S POINTS SYSTEMFor all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here itis:In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the womanhappy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something shedislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doingsomething she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.Here is a guide to the point system:SIMPLE DUTIESYou make the bed...+1 You make the bed, but forget to add thedecorative pillows...0 You throw the bedspread over rumpledsheets...-1 You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light pantyliners with wings...+5 But return with beer...-5 You check out asuspicious noise at night...0 You check out a suspicious noise andit's nothing...0 You check out a suspicious noise and it'ssomething....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10 It's herfather...-10 You leave the toilet seat up...-5 You replace thetoilet-paper roll when it's empty...0 When the toilet-paper roll isbarren, you resort to Kleenex...-1 more...
Bhola goes to a grocery store. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks Bhola to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Bhola goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
Next week Bhola finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks Bhola to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. Bhola goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.
Next week Bhola comes to the grocery store with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at Bhola: more...
Below are excerpts about how guys can score points (or lose them) from their gals from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep Score" from Men's Health Magazine, November, 1996, p 110-115, along with some things that are just expected of guys, therefore having a score of zero:
Simple Duties
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You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners But retur You check out a suspicious n You check out a suspicious noise and You check out a suspicious noise and it You pummel it with It's her father: -10
So -- You stay by her side the You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college dri Na Tiffany Tiffany has implants: -8
Sat --- You visit You visit her parents and actually make You visit her parents and stare vacantly at th And the televi You spend the afternoon watching college football in yo And you didn't even go And it's not really your underwear: -15
Her Birthday
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You take her You take her out more...
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.