Suzie Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the
teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word
"beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked
beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told
my father that she was pregnant, and he said,' Beautiful,
fucking beautiful!'"

there was a girl named suzie likes
and she lives in a town called tilit hurts
in a pub called the cockwell inn
her address, suzie likes
the cockwell inn
tilit hurts

Suzie went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions, but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems.
Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you're having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once," answered Suzie.
"Well, how did he look?" asked the shrink.
"Very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well Suzie, that's very interesting. We must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only ever seen your husband's face once during sex? That seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
Suzie replied, "He was looking through the window at us."

It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students.

"What did you do this summer?" the teacher asked Suzie.

"Me and my family went to the beach a lot," Suzie answered.

"That sounds like fun," said the teacher. "How about you, Emma? What did you do this summer?"

"Me and my family rode our bikes together."

"That sounds lovely," said the teacher. She continued with all her pupils until she got to shy Mikey in the corner of the room.

"What did you do this summer, Mikey?"

"Nothing," the boy responded timidly.

"Did you do anything with your family?" the teacher asked, trying to draw Mikey out.

"Not really."

"Did you go to the beach?"

"No."

"Did you ride more...

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,' Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Igloo!
Igloo who?
Igloo knew Suzie like I know Suzie...!

Jamie and Suzie were walking down the street pushing their dolls in doll strollers. Jamie -
"Where did you get your baby?"
Suzie -
"The Sears Catalog."
Jamie -
"How much did it cost?"
Suzie -
"Twenty-five dollars."
Jamie -
"How long did it take?"
Suzie -
"About three weeks. How about you, where did you get your baby?"
Jamie -
"The JC Penny Catalogue."
Suzie -
"How much did it cost?"
Jamie -
"Ten dollars."
Suzie -
"How long did it take?"
Jamie -
"About five weeks."A short time later, they passed a woman pushing a real baby in a stroller. Being curious, they asked the woman where her baby came from.
"I got my baby from the General Hospital."
Jamie -
"How much did it cost?"
Woman -
"About a thousand dollars."
Suzie -
"How long did it more...