Swimming Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool? Bob
A blonde, burnette, and a redhead are stranded on an island and, they predicted that the island was about 20 miles away.So the burnette decides she could do it, so she starts swimming, she swims 5 miles gets tired,10 miles and drowns. The redhead decided if the brunette could make it she could.So she starts swimming, she swims, 10 miles, gets tired,15 miles and drowns.The blonde decided if they could make it then she could, so she starts swimming, she swims 15 miles, 19 miles, gets tired and swims back.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blowjob, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!"
A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his more...
One hot summer day, an attractive woman was walking through an orchard and came upon a swimming pool, so she decided to go skinny dipping.
Looking around and not seeing anyone, she undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind a bush where he had been hiding all along.
"Sorry, lady," he said, "swimming is prohibited."
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she snapped.
"Swimming is prohibited," he replied, "undressing isn't."
...when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."