Taco Jokes / Recent Jokes

The CEO of Taco Bell has just written a book based on his experience running the restaurant chain.

In it the CEO explains how to man a company, and also -- how to man a toilet bowl.

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. Th e Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She more...

Taco Bell is pulling green onions from restaurants nationwide because of the E. Coli scare in green onions. Loyal taco bell csutomers are disgusted...not about the E. Coli, but about the fact that they have been eating vegetables this whole time.

So far, 54 people have been hospitalized contracting the E. coli virus at Taco Bell.
"Color me impressed," said Russian president Vladimir Putin.

A group of drug dealers from Mexico tried transporting 6,240 pounds of marijuana to America, by hiding it in a tanker truck disguised as a gasoline truck. They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas station on the side of the truck.
A woman was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw that was not plugged in.
Police in Idaho were amused when they arrived to write up a burglary, and the homeowner told them that the thief had taken his VCR, his bong, and his stash of marijuana. The police ticketed the guy for possession of drug paraphernalia.
A girl went to a Taco Bell and asked for a taco with minimal lettuce. The guy behind the cash register said, "Sorry, we only have iceberg lettuce."
A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for 3 days for giving a friend a cough drop. The principal reiterated the school's 'Zero tolerance policy.'

Your Momma is so dumb that she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican Phone Company!

Remember this story when they start getting frustrated:
My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him, and he said "No."
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had, cause the smell was getting worse. So... I asked one more time, "Matt, did you have an accident?"
This time, with a little smirk on his face, he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled... "SEE more...