Tail Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a really dumb blonde who had two horses. Now this blonde couldn't tell her two horses apart so she decided to ask her neighbor to help he out. She said to her neighbor, "I have two horses that I can't tell apart, can you help me?" "Sure," said her neighbor, "maybe you should nick one of their ears, then you could tell them apart." So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day the blonde went to check up on her horses but saw that she could not tell them apart for the other horse had nicked it's ear also. So, she went back over to her neighbors. "My other horse has a nicked ear now to." she said, " Do you have any other ideas how to tell them apart? They are both girls." "Hmmmm." thought her neighbor," Cut one's tail shorter than the other!" So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day, though, both horses had the same length of tail! So, the blond, tired of walking to her neighbors house more...

Two Punjabi farmers ploughing their fields saw a Mig-29 fly overhead at great speed emitting a lot of smoke from its tail. One remarked,' Bantia, look how fast it is going and the racket it is making!'
'Sure, replied the other,' if somebody set fire to your tail, you would run faster than the plane and fart much louder.'

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?"
The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks.
The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"
The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the more...

It is reported that the following part of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?"
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have more...

Jon bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested Jon notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height. When he did, he was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

Q: Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one else will do it for them

"I haven't sold one tractor all month," a tractor salesman tells his friend.
"That's nothing compared to my problem," his buddy replies. "I was milking
my cow when its tail whips around and hits me in the forehead, so I grabbed
some string and tied its tail up to the rafters. Then I go back to milk it
and it kicks me in the head with its right hind leg, so I grab some rope and
tie its one leg up to the rafters. I go back to try and milk it again when
it kicks me in the head with its left hind leg, so I tie its other leg
up to the rafters. Then my wife comes walking in and I'll tell ya, if you
can convince her that I was trying to milk that cow, I'll buy a tractor off
ya."
Joe Dakes