Tall Jokes / Recent Jokes
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The doorman, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain."
The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome."
Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they more...
The College Food Chain:
THE DEAN
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God
PROFESSOR
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can more...
Two guys are shopping in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, “I’m sorry, I was looking for my wife. ”“What a coincidence. So am I, and I’m getting a little desperate, ” says the other man. “Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like? ”“She’s tall, with long hair, long legs, firm boobs, “She’s tall, with long hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight ass. What does your wife look like? ”“Oh, never mind. Let’s look for yours! ”
THE DEAN
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God
PROFESSOR
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to more...
A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, "Boy he could use some head and shoulders." The blonde says, "Hm. How do you give shoulders?" Blonde
Cowboy "A tall weather-worn cowboy walked into the saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper.
Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were also made of paper. As were his chaps, pants, and even his boots, including the paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper.
Of course he was soon arrested for rustling.
A horse wanders into a bar and orders a tall one.The bartender says, "Hey fella, why the long face?"