Tao Jokes

A "Kinder, Gentler System"

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new notebook PC. Instead of producing the cryptic error message characteristic of Microsoft`s operating systems, Sony`s president said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been-until now-an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry." The chairman went on to give examples of Sony`s new error messages:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.


The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist


Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.


ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too more...

In the wake of the Federal anti-trust
suit against Microsoft, Sony has
announced its own computer operating
system now available on its hot new
portable PC called the Vaio.
Instead of producing the cryptic
error messages characteristic of
Microsoft's Windows 95, 3. 1, and
DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman
Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture
the high ground by putting a human,
Japanese face on what has been --
until now -- an operating system that
reflects Western cultural hegemony.
For example, we have replaced the
usual impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft
error messages with our own
Japanese haiku poetry."
The chairman went on to give examples
of Sony's new error messages:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Web site you more...

Imagine if, instead of incomprehensible unhelpful geeky text strings, your computer produced error messages in haiku:


A file that big?
It might be very useful
But now it is gone.

*****

The Web site you seek
cannot be located
but endless others exist.

*****

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

*****

Aborted effort.
Close all that you have.
You ask far too much.

*****

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

*****

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
''My novel'' not found.

*****

The Tao that is seen
is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

*****

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your more...