Tapping Jokes / Recent Jokes

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout;
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He's bugging your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveills you out of doors,
And if that doesn't get the goods,
Then he'll use provocateurs.
So - you mustn't assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout;
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone. He's bugging your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveills you out of doors,
And if that doesn't get the goods,
Then he'll use provocateurs.So-you mustn't assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

An Eskimo was tapping on some ice looking for some fish when a voice said; “You won’t find any fish under there!” The Eskimo just ignored it and carried on tapping. Again, the voice echoed saying “You won’t find any fish under there!” The Eskimo shouted up “Who are you… God?” and the voice replied, “No, the ice-rink manager!”

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout;
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

He's bugging your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveills you out of doors,
And if that doesn't get the goods,
Then he'll use provocateurs.

So--you mustn't assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

Two Ponca men were sitting out on a back road visiting. All at once there was a tapping on the window."Ah Hoh!" "Hey guy!" "I think there is a ghost tapping on the window!"Sure enough a wizened face with long flowing white hair was there just out side the window.The Ponca man driving shoved his foot down on the gas and immediately was doing 60 miles and hour."Step on it!" "He's still out there!" And sure enough, there was another tapping at the window.The driver shoved his foot to the floor again! This time he was doing ninety (90) miles an hour.Still the ghostly figure tapped on the window."You better giver' er some more gas!" "He's still out there.""I can't go any faster, I've got her up to 120 miles an hour.About that time the little old man motioned for the passenger to roll the window down, which he did."Say Boys!" "I was wanting to know, do you need a shove to get out of this mud hole?"

The Craven

Once upon an
election so dreary
as we pondered weak and weary
Over many quaint and curious rights of Constitutional lore.
While G.W. nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly came a tapping,
As of someone loudly rapping,
rapping at the White House door.
"'Tis some visitor," he muttered, "tapping at the White House door."
Only to find it was Michael Moore.

Ah, distinctly G.W. remembered it was the bleak June,
And now his approval rate wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly he wished for the election to be over, vainly he sought to win
For his second term. But now he sorrowed for the lost glamour.
"Will you let me enter?" bade Michael. "Can we talk about the war?"
Quoth G.W.:
"Never, Moore!"

Then, Michael thought, the air grew denser, stilled by an unseen censor
Swung by G.W.'s staunch supporters whose influence one more...

Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Banta screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face here!"
Santa sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
Banta handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to Santa, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.
Santa said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer says we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.
"There he is again," Banta yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, more...