Tarzan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tarzan was tired when he came home."What have you been doing", asked Jane."Chasing a herd of elephants on vines""Really? ", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground! "

What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells

What would cheeta be if Tarzan and Jane were Jewish?
A fur coat
What would cheeta be if Tarzan and Jane were Polish?
A gifted child
What would cheeta be if Tarzan and Jane were Italian?
The other woman

If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A fur coat!

(1) You are next. .
When I was younger I hated going to weddings.
It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,"You are next".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. [:))]
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(2) Divorce Joke...
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully",
The divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very nice, your honour", the husband said.
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself".
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(3) Tarzan & dead Cheetah
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.
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(4) Women in Heven
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON more...

What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?" Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglassesin the distance? Nothing. He doesn't recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?" Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.

Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.

In pain she screamed' What the hell did you do that for?'

Tarzan replied,' Always check for squirrels.'