Tater Jokes

You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
You've ever entered yourself in a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" Contest.
Your lips move while reading a stop sign.

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one - a real SWEET POTATO whom they called "YAM". They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her all about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half baked because she could get Mashed, get a bad name like Hot Potato, and then end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
She said not to worry - no Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and even the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out west because she could get Scalloped. She told them more...

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one-a real SWEET POTATO whom they called "YAM".
They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her all about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half baked because she could get Mashed, get a bad name like Hot Potato, and then end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
She said not to worry--no Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and even the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out west because she could get Scalloped.
She told them more...

One night, the Potatofamily sat down to dinner. Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have anannouncement to make." "And what might thatbe?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," repliedthe daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!" The other daughterssquealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! Andwho are you marrying, Eldest daughter?" "I'm marrying aRusset!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russetis a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" As the family shared in theeldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother, I too, have anannouncement." "And what might thatbe?" asked Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how tobegin, the middle daughter paused, then said with more...

One night, the Potato family - Mother Potato and her three daughters - sat down to dinner. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make."
"And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes.
"Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!"
The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, eldest daughter?"
"I'm marrying a Russet!"
"A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"
As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother, I too, have anannouncement."
"And what might that be?" asked Mother Potato.
Not knowing quite how to begin, more...