Tattooed Jokes

There was this woman who was a big boxing fan, so she went to the tattoo parlor and told the guy that she wanted a picture of Mike Tyson tattooed on the inside of one thigh, and a picture of Evander Holifield tattooed on the inside of the other thigh.
Several hours later, he announces that he's finished. She looks down at his work, but does not think that the tattoos resemble either fighter, so she decides to get a second opinion.
She asks another customer in the shop, "Are you a Boxing fan?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, could you come inside for a second and answer a question for me?" she asked.
So they go inside the office and she opens her legs and asks, "Does this look like Mike Tyson and does this look like Holifield?"
The man bends over and takes a good, long look and says, "I don't know about Tyson and Holifield, but the one in the middle sure does look like Don King! "

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok". She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it. Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement."
A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock..
"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"
He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".

A wealthy trader from Wall Street stopped in at the local tattoo parlor in Key West, Florida and requested to have a one hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis. The heavily tattooed tattoo artist looked at the extremely well dressed trader with a look of complete astonishment, and said “I’ve had strange requests, but this one tops the list. Why in the hell would you want me to tattoo your wanker with the picture of a one hundred dollar bill? ” The trader in his usual fashion looked at the burly artist and told him this account. “There are three distinct reasons I want this done and done immediately. One, I love to play with my money. Two, when I play with my money, I love to see it grow. Three, and this is the most important of all, the next time my wife wants to blow a hundred bucks, she won’t have to leave home to do it!

A woman goes to a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she would like to have a turkey tattooed on her right thigh, just below her bikini line. She also wants the words Happy Thanksgiving under the turkey.
The artist does what the woman wants and it comes out looking really good.
She thens tells him that she wants a Santa tattooed on her left thigh, just below her bikini line, with the words Merry Christmas under it.
The artist does what the woman wants and it turns out well too.
As she's getting dressed to leave, the artists says, "Lady, forgive me for asking, but why did you have me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
"Well, I'm sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!" she replies.

When a man asked his girlfriend to marry him, she said that he would first have to prove his love for her by having her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. He agreed, went to the tattoo parlor, and got the tattoo. When it was erect it said Wendy, and if it was limp it said Wy.
Soon afterwards they married and went to a nude beach in Jamaica for their honeymoon. When the husband went to a stand on the beach to get some drinks, he noticed that the man serving him also had Wy tattooed on his penis.
"What a coincidence," the husband said, "You must have a wife named Wendy too."
"Oh no," the waiter replied, "Mine says, Welcome to Jamaica man, have a nice day!"