Tax Jokes / Recent Jokes
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
The Top 10 Things Overheard In A Tax Preparer's Office Prior To The Tax Filing Deadline No sir, the government does not want you to pay your taxes in pennies. I have a hard time believing that a garbage collector made $150, 000 last year so for the last time, DID YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOURCE OF INCOME!!! How cute... a tax form done in crayon. No sir, its do your taxes every year and renew your driver's license every 4 years, not the other way around. Just because you talk to your plants ma'am, you cannot, repeat CANNOT list them as your dependants. No Ms Lewinsky, your oval office "contributions" are not the same as when you check the dollar box at the top of your 1040 form. Even if you are a hooker, the number of orgasms you've had cannot count as a business expense. I'm sorry, I'm not sure I follow your "Give me an extension and I'll give you an extension later at my place" argument. I take it that because you have decided to do origami with your tax form that more...
You should "never" drink during tax season." You might shoot at tax collectors and miss!"
Many taxpayers could receive tax rebate checks of $600 or more by late spring or early summer. This should allow you to purchase a tank full of gas, a gallon of milk, and a yearly subscription to a internet porn site.
The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped."
"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's
sending them?"
"Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service."
If Microsoft Ran The IRS "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise). -- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May. -- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements. -- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property. -- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices. -- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, more...
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice."Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."