Tax Jokes / Recent Jokes
ALABAMA: Hell, yes, we have electricity!
ALASKA: 11,623 Eskimos can't be wrong!
ARIZONA: But it's a dry heat!
ARKANSAS: Literacy ain't everything!
CALIFORNIA: By 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda!
COLORADO: If you don't ski, don't bother!
CONNECTICUT: Like Massachusetts, only the Kennedys don't own it yet!
DELAWARE: We really do like the chemicals in our water!
FLORIDA: Home of the headless drivers!
GEORGIA: We put the "fun" in fundamentalist extremism!
HAWAII: Haka tiki mou sha'ami leeki Toru. (Death to mainland scum, leave your money.)
IDAHO: More than just potatoes. .. well, okay, we're not, but the potatoes sure are real good!
ILLINOIS: Please don't pronounce the "S"!
INDIANA: Two billion years tidal wave free!
IOWA: We do amazing things with corn!
KANSAS: First of the rectangle more...
To: All Male U. S. Citizens From: I. R. S. Service Center Re: Notice of increase in tax payments The only thing that the I. R. S. has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has 2 dependants and they are both nuts. Effective January 1, 1998 your penis will be taxed according to size. - ------ The categories are as follows: ------- 10 - 12 inches....... Luxury Tax $30. 00 8 -10............... Pole Tax $25. 00 5 -8................ Privilege Tax $15. 00 4 -5................ Nuisance Tax $3. 00Males exceeding 12" must file a capital gains return. NOTE: Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION! Sincerely, Pecker Checker I. R. S
For those of you who are not familiar with US tax forms, "Form 1040" is the most common of the US Federal tax forms. Most people file one of the several versions of this form.
Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?
Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class
President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them
Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security
President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits
Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts
President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases
Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the ability to raise $45 billion by making foreign corporations pay their fair share of U. S. taxes
President Bill Clinton: Modified and lowered his figure to only $11 billion
Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed Medicare payment cut of only $4. 4 billion and ran ads attacking Bush for recommending more cuts
President Bill Clinton: Wants at least $34 billion in Medicare cuts
Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised a guarenteed college education for anyone wanting one
President Bill Clinton: Proposing to spend $98 million--it will only cover 4, 800 students in the more...
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemlpoyed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts. Effective January 1st, 2004 your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows: 10"- 12" Luxury Tax..........$30. 00 8"- 10" Pole Tax.............$25. 00 5"- 8" Privilege Tax.........$15. 00 4"- 5" Nuisance Tax..........$ 3. 00Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!! Sincerely, Pecker Checker IRS*****NOTE***** We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:- Are there penalties for early withdrawals? - What if one's penis is self employed? - Do multiple partners count as a corporation? - Are condoms a more...
Whats the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.