Tax Jokes / Recent Jokes
Women and tax forms have a lot in common...Men love to cheat on them.
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11, 623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, more...
1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
2. Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
4. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
5. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
6. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
7. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
8. How is it one careless match can start a more...
The new tax system is full of acronyms which makes it more difficult for the average taxpayer to grasp. The following is a simple succinct appreciation of the new system.
The new system is NUTS the New Universal Taxation System and although it may appear to be complicated, it is easy to understand.
Basically, it is STUFFT the Simplified Tax Unit For Financial Transactions.
Major elements of NUTS include a number for each business entity an Australian Business Utilisation Number (ABUN) which will be used during dealings with governments at all levels.
Every business in Australia will get ABUN with NUTS. The new system will simplify the way businesses report to the Australian Taxation Collection Head Office Organisation (ATCHOO) Businesses will be required to complete a Business Activity Statement Table And Report Directive (BASTARD) every month.
Businesses should set aside at least three days every working week to fill the BASTARD more...
A new US Fed Tax court ruling says that a sex change operation is tax deductible. Guess I won't be needing to file for an extension after all.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of
them, would you: (1) go to lunch or (2) read the paper?
The other day I asked a delivery driver how his day was going. He said “another day, another dollar” and I felt really bad. This man’s annual income was only $365-and that’s before taxes and assuming that he works weekends.