Tea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Once my cousin, who was expecting her second child, was advising her son Raju to be a good boy and drink his glass of milk. But Raju insisted on taking tea. When repeated efforts failed, his mother tried to cajole him and asked,' Raju, would you like me to give you a brother or a sister?'
'I would like to have a sister,' replied Raju.
'If you want to have a sister, you better drink your milk. If you take tea, you will get a brother.'
'Mummy, what would I get if I take coffee?' asked Raju.

A friend narrates an amusing experience of his club's meetings at which only tea was served. Few members bothered to come. The Secretary decided to add incentives to ensure better attendance and arranged for snacks to be served with tea. Much to his surprise at the next meeting not a single member turned up. He checked with his clerk whether a proper circular had been sent out in time. The mystery was cleared. The invitation read, "Please note snakes will be served with tea."

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me.

Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible
Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty more...

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mums too frightened hell break it!

A Russian party-official arrives late at night to his hotel (in Russia). He is not surprised to find that his reservation has been mislaid but he is more than a little peeved that his status in the party isn't enough to get him a good room anyway. However, the clerk insists, the only bed they have left is the fourth bunk in a 4-bed dorm - he'll have to make do with that. The Russian grumbles but eventually he picks up his suitcase and heads for the dorm. On his way, he meets a chamber-maid and thinking he might as well try to make friends with his room-mates, he asks her to bring them four cups of tea.
As he enters the dorm, he finds that the other three guests are Polish, they are having a fairly wild party and they're very drunk. They also ignore him totally from the moment he enters. After sitting there for several minutes, he realizes he can't stand them anymore and decides to pull a joke on them.
He stands up, grasps a floor lamp and speaking into the light-bulb as if more...

(A Customer Orders Tea In A Coffee Shop) Customer(After Drinking The Tea): It Was A Nice Soup How Much For It