Tea Jokes / Recent Jokes

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? I dont know, I wasnt invited!

During election time, two simpletons were discussing the election scenario and prospects of different political parties in the fray. Suddenly one of them asked the other,' Sir, which party do you prefer - Akalis, BJP, Congress, CPI, CPI (M) or
JD?'

The second person answered,' Excuse me, Sir, but I prefer a tea party.'

On his death and his arrival in hell, the devil is showing his newest arrival around and tells him he will have a choice of rooms in which to pass away the time in hell. The first room the devil take him in to is boiling hot, with flames lapping the walls and engulfing the floor and the people in there look none too happy.
He passes on this room and they move on to the next room. Inside it is freezing cold, icicles hang from the ceiling and the people inside have all turned blue with cold.
The guy passes on this room too, and is starting to feel a little concerned about his fate. However, on entering the next room he sees dozens of people sitting at tables sipping cups of tea. The only downside is that there is knee deep shit on the floor. The man considers this for a moment, turns to the devil and says "It's a bit smelly, but I think I can bear standing in shit for eternity."
The devil smiles, shows him to a seat and disappears.
The man takes a seat, more...

Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.

At a resort, a guy walks up to an older fellow who is sitting in the sun, sipping iced tea.

Young guy says, "Hey, how about a round of golf?"

"Nah," the older fellow replies, "tried it once, didn''t like it."

"Well, how about a swim? It''ll be more refreshing that your iced tea there."

"Nah," the older fellow responds, "tried it once, didn''t like it."

"Young guy says, "Well, how about a game of tennis?"

"Naw, tried it once and didn''t like it. But my son will be here soon. He''s usually up for a game or two."

Young guy replies, "Your only child I presume?"

A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.
What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User`s Manual?
The bus and train timetables.
What do you call a Lada on a hill?
A bloody miracle.
One night, Erich Honnecker was in the bedchamber having some pillow talk with his mistress. He was in a magnanimous mood and offered her a present of her choice. She thought about his offer for a moment and then replied, "Oh, Erich, if there is one thing I would like you to do for me, it is this: open the borders just for one day." Honnecker said, "Of course, my dear," but was a bit puzzled by her request. He asked, "But why would you have me do such a thing?" The mistress replied, "I want to be alone with you."
Every philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room; Marxist philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, but the cat isn`t there; Soviet philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, the cat more...

Q: What`s the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Q. Why has Kevin keegan banned his players from owning dogs?
A. Because they can`t hang onto a lead.
The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.
Just before his son`s sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you". His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane".
Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways. Just before his son`s seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side.
"Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat".
Not wanting to do anything by halves, his more...