Tea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Women to Doc "My husband is never interested in sex"
Doc says' "Take these pills and give him 1 a day "
At home she puts 1 pill in his tea n they had sex that night.
Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea n they enjoyed much more that nite. Next day she puts the whole bottle load in his tea.
Some days later Doc called to know the progress and his son replied -'Mom is dead, aunt in hospital, maids' pregnant, and dad is running naked in the garden chasing the dog"

AN old bishop in the nation's capital was sick of the social and embassy parties he was expected to attend every other afternoon. At one of them he entered wearily, glanced sourly at the over-familiar cast of characters and sank into the nearest chair. The hostess coyly said,' A spot of tea, Bishop?'
'No tea,' growled the bishop.
'Coffee, Bishop?'
'No coffee.'
An understanding woman, she whispered in his ear,' Scotch and water, Bishop?'
Said the bishop, brightening,' No water!'

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

Dear Santa,
Listen you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing
suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from too many tea parties. I hate to break it to you Santa, but it is DEFINITELY pay back
time!!

There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you don’t want to be around to smell it!) So, here’s my holiday wish list for this year, Santa.
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I’m sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are
these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to be cheap and mold imitation underwear to my skin? It looks like cellulite!!!
3. A REAL more...

A MAN and a woman were sitting in a railway compartment. The man kept on quietly reading his paper while smoking his pipe. The woman could stand it no longer and retorted:' If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea.'
'And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

A man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept onpestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you."
"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a packof cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health.
"The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages more...

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"1st customer: "Ill have tea."2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"(Waiter exits, returns)Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"