Tea Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two kangaroo shooters are way out the back of Bourke when their ute breaks down. They do the right thing and stay with it but no one comes along. So they decide to walk out with the temperature being 40 degrees Celsius plus.
After 2 days, they? re on their last drop of radiator water when they climb a rise and find, nailed to a tree, a sign saying MERCY, POPULATION 12. In the distance there's a collection of ramshackle tin huts. They arrive and identify one hut as a caf?. They enter.
A lady appears, very proper. "Yis", she says.
"Bring us a drink, luv. Make it long and quick."
"We only serve one thing here."
"What? s that?"
"Koala tea."
"Well, bring it luv, only make it quick!"
She brings it, and she is not kidding. Pathetic little paws grip the more...
"Grandma, why don't you drink tea anymore?" "I don't like it ever since that tea bag got stuck in my throat."
************************* Chief Executive Officer Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CADear Sir, Listen you little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this year, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my 1997 resolution/wish list: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite! 3. A REAL more...
Dear Santa:
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here by next Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1997: A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and Velcro crawling up your butt? Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite! A REAL man... maybe G. I. Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over more...
Marie living in Phoenix was looking for a decent woman to marry so he`s parents took him one Sunday looking for a bride.
The 1st woman he met was not suitable because of all the different prayers they undertook So they went to Tongaat, this woman, he did not like as well cos they kept too many fasts for the week.
Then they went to Stanger, they met this young lady who greeted them and offered them tea on arrival. She served them tea and biscuits, when Marie saw this he lit up and told his mother that this was the woman he wants to marry. His mom asked why so sudden and he replied
A man who had asked his guest to stay for a cup of tea sent his servant to borrow some tea leaves from his neighbor. When the water started to boil he poured in some water, waiting for the return of the servant. Before long, the water started boiling again, so he had to pour in some more water. This was repeated several times until the cauldron was full and the servant still failed to come back. At this point, the man's wife suggested to him: "Since this gentleman is an intimate friend of yours, you might as well ask him to take a bath instead. "