Tease Jokes / Recent Jokes

I like to tease my plants when I water them -- I water them with ice cubes.

In Minnesota, it`s illegal to tease skunks. (As if being sprayed weren`t enough of a deterrent.)(Minnesota Dumb Laws)

After watching that imbecile on television who claims to know what common household pets are thinking, it was decided that we too, would do the impossible...Dog "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."Goldfish "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes over and over... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"Dog "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"Goldfish "The knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!"Parrot "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HELL NO!"Cat "Why are these people in my house?"Dog "I don't care if you take the jewelry or money, but don't mess with the fridge."Goldfish "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"Cat "I wish he would stop kicking me down the more...

Dog "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."
Goldfish "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"
Dog "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"
Goldfish "The wimp-ass knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!"
Parrot "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HECK, no!"
Dog "Human legs that just tease."
Cat "Why are these people in my house?"
Dog "What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls?!?"
Goldfish "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"

ARIES WOMEN: Wildly sensual, passionate and adventurous. You'll have sex anywhere, you know what you want - intense and frequent sex, you have a need for complete control, but you're also in love with love. As a mate, you are ardent, loyal, sentimental, and earthly. Biggest thrill - the tickle of a man's facial fuzz.

ARIES MEN: Sleeping with him is like playing croquet with live bombs - you never know what is going to happen! Never expect him to wait for you to be ready - he will rip your clothes off if he is ready to go. Don't tease him or you'd better be ready to deliver. Fond of slave master games and he likes it rough. Aries men are also explorers, so be ready to go where no woman has gone before. His favourite position: a woman on her knees leaning forward.

TAURUS WOMEN: You expect your man to be kind and patient and make love to you by the book. Like to be pleased by sex, but don't look for unusual approaches. But you are a demanding lover and leave your more...