Tech Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5. 0.
In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9. 5 and Personal Attention 6. 5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as Return-Home- Early 4. 2.
Conversation 8. 0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5. 0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1. 0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me. html" and try more...
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An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: “I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer. ” (Training stresses that we are “not the Soft-ware Police, ” so I let the little act of piracy slide.)
Tech Support: “Umm-hmm. What happened? ”
Customer: “As I put each disk in it turns out they weren’t initialized. ”
Tech Support: “Do you remember the message exactly, ma’am? ”
Customer:(proudly) “I wrote it down. ‘This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it’? ”
Tech Support: “Er, what happened next? ”
Customer: “After they were initialized all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can’t read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong? ”
Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: "The user can work it out."
The Technologically Challenged Just in case you think YOU are TC (technologically challenged), there'sstill hope: 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old (5-1/4") diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels. 4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. 5. A Dell more...
Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: It should be obvious to an intelligent user.
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