Technology Jokes / Recent Jokes

Advice from 1999:

Please take time from your busy lives to check your toilet paper stockpile to make sure that it is Y2K compliant. Otherwise on January 1, 2000, it will roll back to 1900 and turn into a Sears catalog.

If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.

*What boots up must come down.

*Fax is stranger than fiction.

*Don't byte off more than you can view.

*The geek shall inherit the earth.

*The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

*Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10, 000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Do you know what you get when you cross a pit-bull terrier with a computer?

I don't know either, but when it Megabytes it Megahertz.

Translated from latin scroll dated 2BC

Dear Cassius:

Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to us to sort it all out at this last minute.

I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful.

Surely we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this I suppose.

The money more...