Technology Jokes / Recent Jokes
The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would Dawson Do?"
In the middle of an exam, you tell the professor you want to use a lifeline.
You need to be tranquilized when the cable goes out.
In the late evening, you look forward to sitting back and catching the latest informercial.
If you're a witness to an argument, you instinctually shout, "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!"
You try to impress the opposite sex by saying, "Hey, I get 120 channels!"
Your entire CD collection consists of "Greatest Hits" albums by the decade.
You have a gold-plated "clicker."
Your intellectual discussions all stem from The Discovery Channel.
After 15 minutes of work, you need a two-minute break.
There was this guy who worked with a help desk for a big Broadcasting company. One day, this lady called in because she didn't know why her computer wouldn't come on.
He then asked her, "Did you plug it in?" She says "Yes." He then asked her, "Did you turn in on?" She said "Yes. What do you think I am? Some kind of idiot?"
So, he goes and takes a look at her computer. She goes, "See? I plugged the computer into the surge protector."
The guy goes, "Yea, but you plugged the surge protector into itself."
It is the user who should parameterize procedures, not their creators.
We regret to inform you, but by opening this email, you have just received the 'Idiot Computer Virus'.
Since our staff does not have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system.
Please delete all files from your hard drive immediately, then manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thank You
Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
The cybernetic exchange between man, computer and algorithm is like a game of musical chairs: The frantic search for balance always leaves one of the three standing ill at ease.
At a recent Computer Expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:
If GM had developed technology like Mircrosoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to re-install the engine.
5. more...