Technology Jokes / Recent Jokes
Carol was having trouble with her computer. So she called Glenn, the computer guy, over to her desk. Glenn clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Carol called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
A puzzled expression ran riot over Carol's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again??"
He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?" "No," replied Carol. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1950.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."
IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of
Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you
have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding
the commands.
- The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
- It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a
floating body. It is shipped with a' NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
- Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled' Garbitch'
- My Computer is called' My Freakin Computer,'
- Dialup Networking is called' Good Fellas',
- Control Panel is known as the' da Tote Board,'
- Hard Drive is referred to as' da trunk', and....
- Floppies are them' little Freakin plastic disc tings'.
OTHER FEATURES:
* Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
* OK= do it I tell ya
* Cancel = hell no
* Reset = dis is more...
1. You don't suffer from insomnia... you enjoy every minute of it.
2. Your pupils are dialated 24/7
3.*You don't have time for a girlfriend and would rather have a talking frog instead.
4. L337 is a common word in your household.
5. The targeting reticle from halo is permanently burned onto your retina... and you love it.
6. You know the correct pronunciation of MJOLNIR.
7. You have a microwave in your room.
8. Your dog can beat your friends at halo.
9. Your pug, 30 pounds over weight can physically kick your butt.
10. You've memorized the entire halo soundtrack.
: Why the Internet Is Like a Vagina
If you play with it too much you can go blind.
You wouldn't believe the things people put in there!
Some people think they know how to move around in it, but they really can't interface.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to receive information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
The more people use it the bigger it gets.
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread more...