Teddy Jokes / Recent Jokes
A British teacher in Sudan who looks like everyone's grandma is in danger of being whipped to death for inadvertently letting a little boy name a teddy bear'Mohammed'. It is considered an insult to'Islam'.
How can you insult a'religion' that whips grandmas to death for inadvertently naming teddy bears?
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go!
Yesterday i bought a teddy bear for $15 and i have just successfully sold it on ebay for $30 now i have the muslims after me for making a profit out of a teddy!!
Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his fathers annoyance. Teddy, he called, how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human being. There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room. Thats better, said his father. Now will you always come down stairs like that? Suits me, said Teddy. I slid down the bannister.
Teddy the red-nosed senator
Had a very shiny car
And if you ever saw it
You were probably at a bar.
All of the other senators
Wondered how he got his dames
They thought he drank too many
To play in any bedroom games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
"Teddy with your nose so red,
Won't you help me guide my sled?"
That's how the police found them
Wrapped around a maple tree
Teddy the red-nosed senator
He's a drunken S. O. B.
Mom's Brownies Recipe... Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of refrigerator. Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will more...