Teller Jokes / Recent Jokes

Definition: A manager is a person who thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month.
Robots: Our Steel Collar Workers.
Q: What's the difference between Xerox and the Titanic?
A: The Titanic had a band.
Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
A: A dependent Claus.
Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?
A: A superior being.
Q: What is the difference between big foot and a socially responsible banker?
A: Big foot has been sighted.
Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."
Q: How do you confuse a bank teller?
A: Give him a bag of M&M's and tell him to alphabetize them.
Q: Why is a BMW a banker's favorite car?
A: Because he can't spell Porsche.
Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude
If bankers more...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says,' 'Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a holiday.''

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks him how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says it's Kermit Jagger and that it's ok, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he would need to secure some collateral against the loan and asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says' 'Sure, I have this'' and produces a tiny pink elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says:' 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow 30 more...

A young family moved into a house which was next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew showed up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 6 year old daughter immediately took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope which contained one dollar.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by more...

I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000 a week.

Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.? Blonde: I don't know. Why? Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what?

a frog goes into a bank and and wants to get a loan the bank teller says,"whats your name?" "Kermit jagger" the frog says.
"like mick jagger? she says. yeah hes my dad. well what do you have to give us for security? i have this the frog says and pulls out a pink porceline pig the teller says hold on ill go check this with my boss, so she asks her
boss, whats this? he says well i think its a Knick Knack paddywack give a frog a loan his old mans a rolling stone.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name is Patricia Whack.
"Ms.Whack," he says, "I'd like to obtain a loan to buy a boat."
Patti furrows her brow and asks, "Well, how much do you want to barrow?"
"$30,000," the frog says.
The teller writes this down, then asks his name.
"My name is Kermit Jagger.I'm the son of Mick Jagger."
"Really?" she asks, eyebrow raised.
"Yes,"he says. Then he digs into his pants pocket and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant."And I want to use this as collateral."
"Ummm, okay," Patti says, accepting the elephant."I'll have to ask the owner about this."
"That's fine," he says. "He'll vouch for me."
Patti walks into the bank owner's office and explains the situation."There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000 to buy a more...