Temporarily Jokes

Each fencer shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one sword and the proper protective gear.
Play on the strip must be approved by the owner of the target.
Unlike conventional fencing, the object is to impale the target.
For most effective play, the sword should have a firm, but not sharp, blade.The owner of the target is permitted to check the blade and protective equipment before play begins.
Target owners reserve the right to restrict blade length to avoid damage to the target.
The object of the game is to lunge, recover, lunge, recover until the target owner is satisfied that enough touches have been scored. Failure to do so may result in a black card and being banned from the strip.
It is considered bad form to begin fencing immediately upon arrival at the strip.It is important to engage in certain exercise before fencing.The experienced fencer will check out the entire strip, paying close attention to any elevations present.
Fencers are more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Players on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club into the hole and keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft, course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will normally lake time to admire the entire course, playing special attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the more...

An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."-Mitch Hedberg

The Top 17 Other Effects of the Galaxy 4 Satellite Malfunction

17 With nowhere else to go, radio signals converge on Don King's hair.

16 Tamagotchis the world over die a slow, horrible death.

15 Worldwide headaches when everyone's metal dental fillings receive the signals from Gilbert Gottfried's cell phone.

14 Phoneless George Steinbrenner left unable to fire Joe Torre when the Yankees trailed in the third.

13 Ross Perot and Newt Gingrich stricken with terror while temporarily out of touch with the mothership.

12 Fortune Cookie Effect: words' in bed' added to end of all text messages.

11 Their cellular phones useless, denizens of Los Angeles experience the quaint charm of eating their lunch with both hands.

10 Dennis Rodman tentatively removes tinfoil cap and crawls out from under the woodpile.

9 Cher's face snaps and rolls up like a cheap paper window shade.

8 After several more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. (Normally
one club and two balls)
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep balls out of the hole.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club
to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to make as many strokes as necessary
until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete.
Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the
course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take
time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well
formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention more...