"The Rules of Bedroom Golf" joke

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Players on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club into the hole and keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft, course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will normally lake time to admire the entire course, playing special attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear.
Players should assure their match has been properly scheduled particulary when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they consider a private course.
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back side.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quick pace, at least temporarily, at the owners request.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole serveral times in one match.
The course owner is the sole judge of the best player.
Note: Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be tevled by course owners and rules are subject to change. For this reason, many players decide to continue playing different courses.