Terrified Jokes

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in more...

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP.... BUMP..... behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.... BUMP..... BUMP...... BUMP.....

Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind. . faster.... faster.... BUMP.... BUMP..... BUMP.......

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with its lid clapping..... clappity-BUMP........ clappity-BUMP. ...... clappity-BUMP..... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door, bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for more...

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...behind him.
Walking faster he looks back and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing Quickly behind him...faster...faster. ..BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, Slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...on the heals of the terrified man.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in Sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping Towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything...but all he can find is a more...

A man is walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP.. BUMP... behind him
Walking faster he looks back and can make out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him
...BUMP,
it goes... BUMP..
...BUMP..
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his house, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him..
Faster..
FASTER..
BUMP..
BUMP..
BUMP!
He runs up to the door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him..
However, the coffin crashes through the door - its lid clapping dementedly.. Clappity-BUMP..
Clappity-BUMP..
Clappity-BUMP..
Hot on the heels of the terrified man..
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is mixed with sobs and gasps..
With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping towards him..
The man screams more...

A man was happily walking down the street when he noticed a huge black gorrilla running after him. He was understandably terrified so immediately started running for his life. He ran over hills through rivers down hills across valleys but everytime he looked behind him he saw the huge gorrilla until it got to a point after several hours of running he could no longer go on. He said to himself. I cannot go on any more I am just going to have to let the gorrilla catch me and tired and terrified he stopped running and accepted his fate.The gorrilla got closer and closer until it caught up with the man and said tic.