Thankful Jokes / Recent Jokes
Be as thankful as you want, but you're still going to have something to answer for...
Lust: Circling the kitchen, drooling over the food being prepared.
Greed: Stealing food from someone's plate... While yours is still full.
Sloth: Passing out after Thanksgiving dinner, before the dishes are clean, and blaming it on the turkey.
Envy: Wishing you could be the one passed out on the recliner instead of washing the dishes.
Wrath: Throwing beer at the TV because your team lost.
Pride: Throwing beer at your relatives because your team won.
Gluttony: The Turducken. Nuff said.
I'm just thankful I'm not a Christian.
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can't pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
According to a newspaper report, being thankful and gracious may help to extend your life.
So thanks to the girl who gave me herpes.
1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed!
2. Be thankful your computer isn't down!
3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down!
4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus!
5. Be thankful your server isn't down!
6. Be thankful for a vast selection of Web sites to browse!
7. Be thankful no one knows who you really are!
8. Be thankful someone sent you a cyber sundae, and you didn't gain a pound!
9. Be thankful your 28 year old cyberfriend really isn't 72!
10. Be thankful for a fast Internet connnection!
11. Be thankful no one sent you a cyber voo-doo doll!
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.
3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.
4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing."