That`s Jokes

Santa Heard His Son Reciting His Homework:
"Two Plus Two, The Son Of A Bitch Is Four; Four Plus Four, The Son Of A Bitch Is Eight; Eight Plus Eight, The Son Of A Bitch...`" "Shut Up! " Shouted Furoius Santa. "Watch Your Language! You`Re Not Allowed To Use The Swearwords".


"But, Dad," Replied The Boy, "That`S What The Teacher Taught Us, And She Said To Recite It Out Loud Till We Learned It."

Next Day Santa Went Right Into The Classroom To Complain.
"Oh, Heavens! " Said The Teacher. "That`S Not What I Taught Them.


They`Re Supposed To Say,

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`Two Plus Two, The Sum Of Which Is Four.` "

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That`s Strange".

A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to Communist Hell.
Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking bored. "What`s it like in there?" asked Dave. "Well," he replied, "In Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"That`s terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I`m going to check out Communist Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven times before receding off into the horizon. Dave pushed his way through to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people in. Dave asked Karl what Communist Hell was like.
"In more...